Obviously, when trying to get your ex back, there are good things to do and some not so good things to do. Not doing the bad things will help you win your ex girlfriend or boyfriend back much more quickly.
One big mistake people commonly make is to argue with their exs over what happened. You should see it my way, Im really right, you just dont understand, youre being too sensitive, etc.
Look. Arguing could be one of the main reasons you lost your ex to begin with. More of it is not going to help get them back to you. Arguing with them will likely make them feel like they made a good decision to get rid of you.
Do something much more constructive instead. Try to make them right a little. Try to make them feel heard and understood. Be a good listener. Let them get things off their chest. This will make a positive impression on them that the break up caused you to change some.
A second big mistake we often make trying to get our ex back is to stalk them. Most of us know that physical stalking is illegal. But you can stalk by leaving twenty phone messages. Or you text them ten times a day.
Heres the thing. If you are stalking your ex, that can be very scary for them. You come across as desperate and obsessed, which isnt healthy. You cant scare your mate into wanting you back!
If you are obsessing on your mate this is actually somewhat normal. But instead of leaving twenty messages a day, do this instead. Tell a close friend that you are obsessing. Share with your friend how desperate you feel. But don't let your ex see any stalking from you!
So rather than arguing with them to take you back, or phone stalking them, do some positive things. Learn some relationship intelligence to get them back. There are proven reconnect strategies that can have them reconsidering taking you back within days, sometimes hours.